Minor Setback with Chemo Start

Update as of 12/3/2016
   

     I hope this finds all who read it well on this cold, rainy night. I wanted to give an update on mom for all who are interested in her continued fight!
  
     On Monday, 12/1/2016, Mom was scheduled to go in to Montgomery Cancer Center (MCC) for a teaching session on the chemo drugs that will be in her regimen. However the night before she had a bad headache and wasn’t feeling well and decided to lay down early.  On waking, she found that she had a temperature of 100.4.  She took 2 Tylenol and went back to sleep, waking later in the night with a temperature of 101.6. 

     In the morning she contacted MCC and informed them of her fever and her generally not feeling well. She had a headache still, some lower right sided back pain, pain along her surgical incision and nausea.  They decided to bring her in Thursday morning for a full fever workup, seeing as how she was scheduled to start chemo on Friday morning (12/2/2016) and could not do so if she was acutely ill.

     I went to MCC with her Thursday morning where she received a full set of lab draws and blood cultures as well as a urinalysis.  She also had a chest x-ray.  We went after all this to talk with one of the nurse practitioners, Melissa English (of whom I could not speak more highly about). 

     After all of her tests and talking with the Nurse Practitioner we were here:  Mom had a fever with all the before mentioned symptoms to go along with it, WBC count was 9.2 which is normal, but her potassium was low at 2.9 and her bilirubin had gone up to 2.2 from 1.1.  This seemed to indicate to Melissa that mom had some sort of obstruction possibly in her common bile duct.  She thought that it could possibly be cholangitis, which is an infection of the bile duct.  She said that this was not normal after the Whipple procedure but also not uncommon.  She recommended a CT of mom's abdomen and pelvis and also to start IV antibiotics at the cancer center for a course of 5 days.  She stated that as soon as the CT was back that she would let the surgeons in Birmingham know what was going on in case they wanted to see mom again or if there was something there that would require additional intervention.

     So we started her antibiotics and potassium replacement on Thursday.  Mom's CT came back Thursday afternoon and showed that there was not cholangitis to be noted.  To everyone’s best guess, mom had the beginning of an abscess near her bile duct.  However, Melissa was happy to report that mom had had no changes in her CT from the last one a couple weeks ago. Everything still clean. This was good news! 

     (As an aside, while we were at the cancer center mom had the 3rd radiologist that had read her PET scan to sit down and go over it with her, and he concluded, like the 2 others, that mom's PET scan was clean with no metastasis and only a small area of inflammation along her incision line. Praise the Lord!)

     So, since Thursday mom has been going to the cancer center everyday for IV antibiotics through her port. She is recovering Vancomycin and Invanz as well as IV potassium chloride.  She will be finished with the antibiotics on Monday the 5th.  She is feeling much better than she did on Thursday!

     Because of the infection, mom was unable to start her chemo on Friday and will now, instead, start her chemo on Friday 12/16/2016. 

     Prayers that her infection will clear up, and for her appetite to increase and for her to find some foods that she likes and tolerates are appreciated. Also, prayer for increased mental and physical strength to handle this chemo when she does receive it. 

Thank God for all of you who have cared and loved us all deeply.

- Luke

First Oncology Appointment

Good evening everyone. Today Momma had her very first oncology appointment at the Montgomery Cancer Center with Dr. McDaniel. Dr. McDaniel was, in my opinion, excellent today as he walked my mom and dad through what the upcoming months will hold. However, Dr. McDaniel had news for us that was more somber than any of us were anticipating. We got to the Cancer Center at 7:15 this morning and after several stacks of paperwork and visits from some of momma's favorite coworkers, we were finally in the back waiting on Dr. McDaniel. Dr. McDaniel introduced himself and allowed my Momma the opportunity to tell her side of this awful story before he dove into what the charts and paper had to say about it. Then, Dr. McDaniel started to give us the news that science and medicine had presented to him. Dr. McDaniel confirmed that Dr. Christien at UAB did get all of the cancer and negative margins to the naked eye. Dr. McDaniel informed us that momma's tumor was roughly 2 inches in size. Dr. McDaniel then went on to talk about the lymphnode involvement that Dr. Christien had told us about. Dr. Christien removed 6 of momma's lymphnodes and of the 6, 3 lymphnodes tested positive with cancer. Dr. McDaniel then told us that cancer is rated on a scale of aggressiveness 1 to 3. 1 is that least aggressive form of cancer and 3 is the most aggressive form of cancer. Unfortunately, we found out today that momma's cancer was rated at a 3, and with the lymphnodes involved, Dr. McDaniel wants momma to have a PET scan so we can see more in depth what we are dealing with and if the cancer has spread elsewhere. With this shock still weighing on us, Dr. McDaniel kept pressing on with more information. Given that momma's cancer is at a stage 3 aggression level, Dr. McDaniel wants momma to have the most aggressive form of chemotherapy possible. He listed 3 different chemotherapy drug names, and please forgive me because this teacher has no idea what the drug names are, and said that he wants to start momma off with the drug that is used on patients that have stage 3 and 4 cancer. Momma's cancer is staged at a 2, so Dr. McDaniel seems to think that this drug will be the best bet for momma in giving her the best chance at "survival". Momma will start chemotherapy sometime between mid December and the beginning of the new year. Dr. McDaniel told us that momma would be coming to the cancer center on Mondays for 6 to 8 hours worth of chemo. Momma will then go home with more IV administered chemo through Tuesday and she will return on Wednesday to turn the IV chemo off. Momma will get a week's worth of rest and the the process with begin again. Chemotherapy will be done for at least 6 months. Dr. McDaniel said that this chemotherapy drug is tough on the body. He warned momma that she would be weak, sick, and fatigued and that she will also have weight and hair loss as an affect of the chemo. He also did not sound very hopeful about Momma being able to work during her time of chemotherapy. Dr. McDaniel was very matter of fact, but he was also very thorough. He did not rush his time with us, and he made sure that all questions were answered before he left the room. Prior to leaving, Dr, McDaniel joined hands with us and lead my family in a prayer. We all thought very highly of this, and it meant a great deal to us. Upcoming prayer requests include: -Momma's PET scan tomorrow, November 18, 2016 and results of this PET scan -Momma will be having an IV port put in on Monday, November 21, 2016 -Momma is concerned about not being able to work during chemo -Lifted spirits for momma and this family -Strength for momma as she begins the road with chemotherapy -The doctors and nurses that will be taking care of momma during this time ahead I saw a quote today that read "If there is a Goliath in front of you, then there is a David inside of you". My momma has a David inside of her and a GOd that will fight FOR HER. She needs only to be still. More updates to come in the following days. As always, thank you for the prayers and keep them coming!! Exodus 14:14 -Kailey

Let's Play Catch Up

Good afternoon to all! Please let me start by apologizing that this is the first blog post in the past few weeks. Things have been crazy in the Barkley household, but I am happy to report that things with Momma are going great! A few weekends ago, the weekend of October 21- October 23, I was at school anxiously awaiting 3 o clock so I could come home and see momma. I had been texting her off and on throughout the day and Momma had said that she was feeling great, almost back to her old self. Unfortunately, mom was having some issues with her JP drain. The drain was essentially draining everywhere except for the actual drain. Momma ended up going to our family doctor and was referred back to UAB where she was admitted for the weekend. Once momma was finally able to come home, she had taken a complete 180 in the way she was feeling and her spirits. She made some comments that Sunday night that scared me tremendously, and Luke, Sheila, and Daddy were all uneasy as well. Throughout the next week, I stayed home with Momma. I finally felt like I was able to do something helpful throughout this whole ordeal. It was extremely difficult to feel helpful when I was living three hours away in Huntsville. I am happy to say that Momma has improved tremendously in the past couple of weeks. Momma is actually looking like MY momma for the first time since this nightmare started. Momma's strength is improving everyday. She is able to do more with each passing day. She is getting her sense of humor back, and her spirit is the best I have seen it since this whole ordeal started. Thanks be to God! As always, we ask for continued prayers. Pray that her spirit stays positive and that the strength keeps improving. Most specifically, we ask that you pray for her appetite. The surgery has done a number on her taste buds and she says that nothing tastes good to her. The surgery also had an end result that left Momma without a fourth of her stomach. She is eating very small portions because it is al she can handle right now. In my mind, Momma has had a significant weight loss. Please pray that we can keep the weight loss to a minimum so that she will be strong and ready to fight once she starts her chemo. We love you all and are so incredibly grateful for the love, support, and prayers that you continue to pour out on our family. Please keep the prayers coming! "Though she stumbles, she will not fail, for the Lord upholds her with his right hand." Psalm 37:24 -Kailey

Day 3 Post Op Update

     Mom is doing a lot better today!! She has done a total of 3 or 4 laps around the unit (today WITHOUT a walker), which is probably at least 300 or so feet per lap, she got an actual shower and she climbed some stairs with PT!  They pulled her foley this morning, kidney function is within normal limits.  No more fever to note.  I am unsure of what her WBC count is down to, but im hoping it has come down and if the way she is doing is any indication, then it has!

     Dr Christein rounded a little while ago and seems to be more concerned about the amount of drainage still coming from her drain than anything else.  He reiterated that she will probably have to go home with a drain.

     Otherwise everything is going as planned. They did move Mom to a different room late last night, so anybody visiting this weekend, she is in room S748.

     Thank everyone for continued prayers.

- Luke

Day 2 Post Op Update

     Mom is awake and more alert even than yesterday.  She is still in some pain but it is better controlled today.  She is a little down today because she feels like she is not “doing as well as she should”.  She stated she wants to get up and walk more but that its all she can do. (Occupational therapy came to see her this morning and made her stand up in the room for 30 minutes!)

     I think that mom thinks she should just hop out of bed and be running laps around the unit, though I have assured her that she is doing much better than most people do.

     Significantly though, it seems that she could possible have contracted a UTI and has had a low grade fever as well. White Count this morning is up from 11 to 14. This could be normal after surgery of this magnitude or could mean something else, like infection, though we hope not.

     Additionally, her JP drain has been having to be emptied every hour because it is putting out a good deal of what the residents think is bile.  Dr. Christein (surgeon) came in a few minutes ago and said that she probably has a leak from one of the artificial connections that were made during surgery.  As a result, he hooked her JP drain to wall suction and it has pulled a good deal since.  He stated that these types of leaks usually heal on their own, but she could possibly have to go home with her JP.

   The only residual jaundice that I see is in her eyes, only mildly yellow. Her face, as opposed to yesterday, has a pinkness back to it.

     Continued prayers for pain control and also additional prayers today for: the leak in her stomach to dry up and heal, and for her to have  a sense of accomplishment for the work she has done with PT and OT and not a sense of failure for what she cannot yet do.

     Thank you all.

     In Christ,

- LUKE

Day 1 Post Op Update

    I arrived at the hospital about 11:00am this morning.  I found mom a whole lot more lucid than yesterday! She is still pretty doped up on her PCA pump, but in between dozing off she is able to wake up and have a meaningful converstaion.  This is in stark contrast to yesterday, in which she was also doped up but was being comical in her speech rather than meanigful (unknowingly, no doubt).       

     At one point yesterday she went to awkwardly touch dad's face, and when asked "what are you doing" she stated... "I thought there was a fly on your face, I wanted to get it off" - No fly ;)...  I was rubbing her head yesterday and scratching her scalp and she stated, "That feels good, but I'm sad, because Kailey and Sheila don't let me play hair with them..." - we are all unsure what this means ;).  (And if you are reading this later, mom, I had to put it. We have been through a week of worry, and its nice to smile!)       

     

     But back to today, pain control is still a prayer request. The way that her pain pump is set up, she does not recieve a scheduled pain medication and the supplements it with pushes of her pain pump.  She only gets pain medicine when she pushes the button for the pump to give it to her in her IV.  The doses are small and the pump is regulated so that she can't overdose herself. So after she pushes the button for some pain medication, it will not let her push it again for lets say 10 to 15 minutes.  Because of this, it takes a little while to get the pain under control and when she is finally comfortable she goes to sleep.  During her sleep she obviously can't push the button to stay on top of her pain, so she ends up waking up miserable and havjng t start all over again pushing the button multiple times until pain control is achieved, and back to sleep she goes.  It is a circular pattern and she probably just needs some adjustment in meds, however prayers for pain relief are much appreciated.     

     As far as mobility, mom was able to stand up on the side of the bed with physical therapy this morning and walk around to the other side of the bed.  This was a great accomplishment to me, seeing as how this was before 24 hours had even passed since surgery.  While Dad and I went off campus for lunch, occupational therapy also came in and worked with mom. And, just to show off, she walked with them all the way tobthe bathroom, brushed her teeth, back to a chair, sat and stood a couple of times and walked back to bed. We were so excited for this!  I told her at this rate she would be doing triatholons in a couple months!      

     As far as pathology reports and talking with the surgeon about the surgery, those things have not happened yet.  However, her color has brightened up a good bit.  She still has some mild yellowing of the face but her hands, arms, neck, and chest have all returned to a normal pink color!      

     They pulled her NG tube early this morning, which was quick. This would lead me to believe her output was low enough to do so. Hopefully gastroparesis will not be an issue mom faces, as so many with whipples do. Prayers for no gastroparesis and for all the anastomotic places that were created in surgery to heal strongly so that she can get back to eating quickly are also appreciated.    

     Thank everyone for continued prayers and I promis to keep everyone up to date and informed. 

     To God be the Glory! 

 -  Luke  

Surgery Day - Update 6 (Back in Room)

     Mom is out of recovery and has been moved to the ICU stepdown unit to be monitored more closely.  She looks pitiful, and it is hard to see a woman that i know just hiked over 30 miles in Michigan less than a month ago, in the shape she is now, but she is alive and stable and supposedly cancer/tumor free!  Dr Christein said that the cancer was actually smaller than they originally thought, which is wonderful news and a miracle in itself that it was found so early.

     Mom has been in a good bit of pain since the surgery.  She was started on a Patient Controlled Analgesia pump down in PACU.  They originally started her on morphine but it was not sufficient for her pain. Her doctors switched her over to Dilaudid in her PCA when she got to stepdown and it seems to be helping her a lot more.  Since starting the Dilaudid and getting situated in bed her respirations have stabilized from 24-27 per minute back to within normal limits. Her BP's have remained normal as well even with the high dose narcotics, O2 sat and HR have been holding steady and have been within normal limits as well. 

     She is becoming more coherent with each passing minute as she wakes up from the anesthesia.  Pain control seems to be the biggest prayer need at this time.

    All company has gone for the day, but i do want to give a shout out and a "we love you" to the wonderful people that came and sat with us today, some from 5:30am to 5:30 pm - Uncle Steve, Aunt Kathy, Uncle Terry, Aunt Sue, Uncle Jamie, Paul Johnson. We love all of you and your presence meant more than we could express.

     To all of those who have undoubtedly "prayed without ceasing". We thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your intercessions for us in out time of need. God still hears prayers, God still answers and acts, and God delights to do these things at the request of His children for the glory of His name.  Never have we seen prayer manifest its power in such a tangible way.  We love all of you and keep the prayers coming. I have no doubt that ya'll will pray her right out of this hospital room and right home!

To God be the glory, Great things He has done!!

-  Luke

Surgery Day - Update 5

@1144.... Dr Christein called up to the front desk of the waiting room and talked to dad.   Surgery is done.   Dr Christein stated that he felt like he got all of the cancer removed.  Mom is stable and is being taken to PACU to recover. Will be able to go back and see her around 1pm.

Praise be to God for good news!

"How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news, who proclaim peace, who bring good tidings, who proclaim salvation, who say to Zion, "Your God reigns!""   Isaiah 52:7

Surgery Day - Update 4

     They just called from the OR and said that the procesure was still going on but that mom was doing good.

     She has been in surgery for about 1 hr and 50 minutes. Possibly another 2 hours to go.

     Continued prayers are appreciated.

- Luke

Surgery Day - Update 3

     Surgery has started @ 0922.

Surgery Day - Update 2

     They just took mom down to the OR to get her prepped for surgery at 0852.  According to the nurse that will be in the OR with her, it will take approximately 30-40 minutes to get her put to sleep and ready for surgery. 

     The doctors that will be directly involved in mom's surgery are Dr. Christein (surgeon) and Dr. Tuck (Anesthesiologist).  Prayers for both of them to perform their jobs flawlessly are appreciated.

     Once the surgery is started it will take approximately 4 hours.

     Its all out of our hands now, and ALL in HIS.

- Luke

Surgery Day - Update 1

     This morning, after having massive amounts of friends and family arrive to the room before 6am to see mom off, we were informed that she was yet again pushed off to surgery at between 8 or 9am - 2nd case.

     Anxiety is mounting as this gets more real.

     They have just arrived to take mom down to pre-op at 0800.  We are headed down to the pre op/surgery waiting room now as they prepare mom for surgery.

     Prayers are needed now.  Prayers for ease of anxiety, complete and total removal of all cancer with negative margins, complication free surgery, complication free recovery, post operative pain control.

     Updates to follow all day

     "Surely goodness and mercy shall follow you all the days of your life."

- Luke

Blueprints

"You may make many plans, but the Lord's plan will always prevail." (Proverbs 19:21)

      This has been an extremely difficult verse for me personally in the last couple years of my life. I now feel that it may become a difficult verse for my mother too.

     My mother and I are both extreme "planners". I suppose I have my Mom to thank for my planning tendencies. So what do we do when plans do not go the way in which we plan? My mom, I can assure you, did not plan for cancer. My mom grew up, went to school, got married, planned to have her children, and grow old with her husband while watching her grandchildren play in their back yard. In that picture perfect blueprint, cancer does not fit in. However, something I have learned in recent years, is that our plans are just that, blueprints.

     Blueprints are defined as a design or technical drawing. When builders come together to build someone's dream house they draw up a blueprint. Often times when the building process gets started blueprints can change drastically. (I know this thanks to a multitude of shows on HGTV that my mom and I have always enjoyed watching together). My mom had a blueprint. I had a blueprint. Everyone who has ever lived has a blueprint.

     Some individuals have their blueprint turn into wonderful dream lives. Others blueprints sometimes become shifted, but that does not mean a beautiful life cannot rise from the ashes. Our God is still in the miracle business. He has not retired, nor will He ever retire from the miracle business. Does life throw us curve balls? Absolutely. The great thing about it is God can take the curve balls of our lives, that are not in our blueprints, can not be turned into a home run for God's glory.

"Be still, and know that I am God; I will be exalted among the nations, I will be exalted in the Earth." (Psalm 46:10)

"Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; He will never fail you nor abandon you." (Deuteronomy 31:8)

     This is a crazy life that my family is living. We have had many heartaches and many trials, but we are strong in our faith. We believe that we are never alone. We believe the Lord goes before us. We believe that all things glorify our Almighty God in the end. The same God that is our God on the mountain is the same God that is with us in the valley.

     I want to take the last of this post to thank each and everyone of you that is following this story and praying for my family. Each prayer is being heard by our God, and each prayer is being felt by my family. Please continue to pray for my mother and the doctors as they perform the surgery tomorrow. Pray that the Lord guides the hands of the doctors. Pray for all cancer to be GONE, and pray for a smooth recovery for my mother. We may be in a valley now, but soon our family will be on the mountain again.

"The Lord has made everything beautiful in its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people can not see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end." (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

-Kailey

Update for Sunday, October 9th, 2016

October 9th, 2016

     Mom looks like she feels like herself today. On arriving to her room today Sheila and I found it empty.  Wondering where they were, I called Dad to inquire.  Come to find out mom had done several laps around the unit with her IV pole and had decided to walk down to the cafeteria and all the way back up!

     The Doctors came in this morning and informed us that Mom’s surgery (Whipple procedure) will actually not be until Tuesday, not Monday as we had been previously told.  She is currently up in a chair and looking like herself for the first time in days.

     Continued prayers are appreciated and most specifically:  Prayers for a safe and successful surgery, negative resection margins (NO cancer left even at a microscopic level), a speedy and complication-free recovery, to prepare her body to undergo chemotherapy, and for any residual cancer cells to be prepped for eradication!

I claim victory in the name of Jesus!!

-   Luke

Bringing Everyone Up To Speed

To Bring Everyone up to speed…

October 3, 2016

                This all started on Monday, October 3^rd, 2016.  My mom and dad had been to a small group meeting a couple nights before where she had been told by one of their good friends that her “eyes didn’t seem as bright”.  This, I suppose, keyed my dad in to watch her and on the 4^th when she woke up she was jaundiced.  Mild yellowing of the eyes and skin.  Dad sent her to her local doctor’s office to get it checked out. 

                After several tests they determined that she would need a CT scan and tried to get her in to Prattville Baptist Imaging center to receive one.  After trying and failing to get a precert from her insurance she was sent home and told they would try again tomorrow.  Dad, in light of mom being sick took off work to go home and see her.  He called me at work and asked my opinion on what to do, to which I responded I would take her to the ER where precerts don’t matter.  Though mom said she felt fine except for itching all over, they both agreed and she went to Baptist East ER.

                At the ER they decided to do a test called an MRCP, which helps to identify obstructions in the biliary tract.  After waiting a while the radiologist who read the film, a friend of my mom’s, came in and told her that she had an obstruction of one of her bile ducts and that the head of her pancreas was enlarged, and that that was concerning to him.  It was deemed that she needed an additional test called an ERCP, though she would have to be taken to Birmingham to UAB hospital for that.

                After many hours in the ER, they finally got a room at UAB and the ambulance arrived to take her there at about 1am on the 4^th. 

October 4, 2016

                My wife and I arrived at the hospital early in the morning on the 4^th.  Mom was in decent spirits but nervous, as one should be in such a situation.  The day was spent thinking that we would be able to have her back for her ERCP that day, which ended up not happening.  After we arrived me and dad left the room to “get coffee”.  As soon as we exited the room he handed me a trifold cluster of papers.  The radiology report from east.  Long story short, the words “suspicious for malignancy” stuck out and rang around in my head and everyone else’s all day.  This could NOT be happening.

                Around midafternoon mom’s attending doctor and approximately 7 or 8 medical students came in to talk to my mom.  They said that she would be scheduled for tomorrow (Wednesday the 5^th) for her ERCP to possibly place a stent in her biliary duct to decrease her jaundice.  They also said that she would be scheduled, simultaneously, for an EUS – Endoscopic Ultrasound.  During the EUS she would also have a small needle biopsy of the mass in her pancreas.  According to the doctor, Histology was in the room for such procedures and as soon as they had aspirated cells from the mass they would go directly under a microscope and we would know what the culprit was.  Cancer was on their radar, of course, but he said that there were many other things it could be – just a benign mass, autoimmune pancreatitis, etc…  Knowing that there were other possibilities gave us some hope.

                About this time we had to figure out what to do in regards to Kailey, my sister.  I had made her a promise on the 3^rd that I would let her know if she needed to come home, as she was on a beach vacation with a few friends over their school’s fall break.  I wasn’t so sure that we didn’t need to call her and tell her that maybe she might want to come home.  After a family discussion we decided it was best to call her together, lay out all the facts and all we knew, and let her make her own judgment.  After several hours of travel, Kailey arrived in Birmingham and stayed with Sheila and I in the hotel attatched to UAB hospital.

October 5, 2016

                “The procedure is scheduled for 1:30 pm”, says mom’s nurse about the EUS and ERCP to be done today.  This gave me enough time to get dad downstairs to the cafeteria for some breakfast.  The room that mom had been in had almost no accommodation for a significant other and he looked like he hadn’t slept or even rested in days, some breakfast would be good for him.  After we got down to the cafeteria, got our breakfast and sat down to eat dad’s phone rang – it was Kailey.  They were taking mom down now.  It was 8am.  After sighing in frustration, we both boxed up our breakfast that we had not yet touched and took them back to mom’s room to see her off.   

     We walked down with her to see where the endo waiting room was.  Dad was informed then that he was allowed to stay with her in the prep area until they took her down for the procedure, but that the room was small so me and Kailey would have to wait in the waiting room. And we waited, and waited, and waited…. 1200pm came around and we were still waiting to hear from dad. It had been 4 hours she had been in the prep area. Finally, the charge nurse came in and apologized and said that they were hoping the could jave gotten her back earlier but that it should be just after the next case. We all decided to go on to lunch and hopefully mon would be taken down when we came back.

     After almost 5 Hours of waiting They took her down at about 12:50pm.  We waited for forever in a consultation room waiting on the doctor to brief us on what he found.  Finally around 4:00pm Dr Ahmed walked in the room with a large role of ultrasound pictures and some color photos from her ERCP.  He started very calmly to go through each picture telling us that everything in these pictures were normal. He got most of the way through the huge roll of ultrasound pictures and we were all thinking, this is great!

     Then he got to a picture and stated, “and then I see this black spot, and I don’t like that…” He proceded to tell us that they aspirated some cells from the block spot on the sonogram picture and that, “unfortunately she does have adenocarcinoma of her pancreas.”  Bomb dropped.  The girls started to cry, my dad held his hands to his face, I was numb. Worst news we could have gotten.  Dr Ahmed went on to say that the mass was abutting the portal vein but that he did not see that it had gotten into the vein, but that he couldn’t be sure. If it had, he stated that we might have to try to shrink it with chemo and radiation first ti see if it could be brought to a point where they could try to take it out.  Dad asked about mets… “we will do a CT scan, probably tomorrow, and that will tell us everything we need to know about whether or not it is operable or not. It will also tell us if it has metastasized anywhere else.”

     We were able to go back to see mom in recovery shortly afterwards. There we a lot of tears and heartache, but soon we had her back in her hospital room.  We spent the evening, after she woke up good from anesthesia laughing and carrying on as we normally do, watching funny videos on facebook and enjoying time together.  As Sheila, Kailey and I got on the elevator late that night to head to the hotel we all looked at each other, and I said it, though everyone was thinking it… “Today was a VERY bad day.”

October 6^th, 2016

     Kailey and I woke up early this morni g to go see mom.  Dad had left to go home and pack a better bag and pay some bills, etc… so it was just kailey and I there.  Mom looked like she felt miserable.  She was having really bad abdominal pain.  Turns out that Dr Ahmed was unable to place the stent in her biliary duct to relieve her jaundice during her ERCP yesterday. He tried multiple times. After several attempts he decided to let her rest and try again on Friday, october 7^th. As a result of all the manipulation of her pancreas yesterday she had developed an acute pancreatitis.  Her lipase (and indicator of how your pancreas is feeling) which is normally 10-70 was over 4,000.  Suffice it to say, her pancreas was angry.  To treat this they have increased pain medication and are forcing IV fluids at 200 cc/hr which is quite a lot.

     When Kailey and I arrived at the room mom was already gone down to have her CT scan done – the one we were dreading.  We waited for her to return, which she did about 30 minutes later.  We had no sooner gotten our hugs and good morning’s in when two doctors walked in the room.  My heart sank… Kailey turned green… mom held her breath.  “My name is Dr. Christein.  We have looked at your CT scan”

     All time stopped for the three of us in that moment.  Please God. Be good news. We need just one break, PLEASE.  “After looking at the CT, I don’t see and mets anywhere, your liver, gut, and lungs look fine and clear.”  Immediate praise. Thank you Lord!  “Also, I think that we will be able to get all of this cancer out, so we will plan for surgery on Monday or Tuesday of next week.”  Kailey, Mom and myself hugged, cried and thanked God for the Best worst news we had ever received.  Being an oncology nurse myself and having done extensive research on pancreatic cancer since her diagnosis yesterday I knew that statistically only about 10% of all pancreatic cancers at tge time of diagnosis are considered resectable.  We finally got a break.  I asked about staging the cancer. Dr Christein stated, “Well, I’m just a surgeon but I think it would be stage 1 or 2.”  Wow. What hope had been given us.  Now we have a plan.  Surgery Monday, recover, and chemo. Hope springs anew.

October 7^th, 2016

     Mom is feeling much better today.  Her spirits are much improved and there is a sense of hope that abounds.  In addition , her lipase is down to 800, which is still way too high but much better than 4,000.  She has showered and put on a t shirt and fixed her hair (which she has been SO worried about!) And is having a lot of company today, friends and family alike.  Several groups of doctors have been back in to see her that have reaffirmed what Dr Christein told us yesterday – no mets and removeable cancer.  The rest of the day was spent visiting and spending time with those that love us and have turned out something fierce.

      Special thanks to all of the people that have come up to see Mom and Dad the last few days.  It has meant more to them than I can express.  Special thanks to Paul Johnson and Rick Church, for visiting, but also for being there for my Dad in a way that I could not be.  God bless you all!

   

      As Kailey said yesterday, the journey begins.  This journey ends in victory! I CLAIM IT IN THE NAME OF JESUS!

-         -   Luke

The Journey Begins

"I am invincible. Nothing bad can happen to me. I'm 21 and my life is perfect."

These thoughts constantly inhabited my mind when I was a 21 year old college junior. I had it all. The perfect family and a boyfriend that would soon be my husband. My perfect reality ended on May 24, 2015 at approximately 4:30 pm. Life as I knew it would never be the same, and it would not get any easier. 

I lost the man of my dreams. My best friend. My other half. The man I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I would spend the rest of my life with. I lost him in the blink of an eye. I was 21 years old. 

The hurt, pain, trials, tears. And through it all I had my mom. 

My mom and I have one of the closest relationships that I have ever seen a mother and daughter have. Our relationship is so strong because she is and always has been my mother first and my friend second. I can share every part of my life with my mother, and I do so willingly. 

At the time of my boyfriend's passing, my mom was one of the few people that was there from me from the beginning. My mom took extended leave from work, chauffeured me to and from classes, prayed over me and for me constantly. If it was not for my mom, and a select few more people, I can honestly say I would not have survived the last year and a half of my life. 

Now it's my turn to be that rock, or one rock from a select few, to be there for my mom. 

On October 5, 2016, my mom was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer. I am now 22 years old. 

If there is anything the last year and a half of my life has taught me, it is that without faith and a relationship with Jesus Christ, I and my family would not have been able to endure the hardships that we have and will continue to face together. 

We are a God fearing family that believes that God has a plan for each of our lives. A plan for a hope and a future. A plan intended good and not for harm (Jeremiah 29:11).

That last part is a hard pill to swallow. "A plan for good and not for harm." That may be hard to believe when the word CANCER is thrown into your face out of the blue. 

As I sit here in a dark hospital room at UAB hospital watching my mother sleep, I keep hearing certain sayings in my head. The most common being, "God will never give you more than you can handle."

I have heard in several sermons recently that this saying is completely false and I never realized it until now. God can definitely give you more than you can handle, and this my fellow believers is the point of it all. 

"Come to me all who are weary and I will give you rest." (Matthew 11:28).

"When my heart is overwhelmed, lead me to the rock that is higher than I." (Psalm 61:2). 

"Greater is he living inside of me than he who is in the world." (1 John 4:4).

Without Christ I am NOTHING. With Christ I can do all things for my strength comes from Him (Philippians 4:13). 

Has the last year and a half of life been a beautiful, perfect ride because I am a follower of Christ? No. Has the last year and a half of my life been made possible despite the circumstances because I have Christ to fall on when everything else is chaos? Absolutely.  

Christ is the Alpha and Omega. The beginning and the end. God sees the whole picture when I can't see a day in front of me. 

Trials are when the rubber meets the road. And I am ready to take it on, because I have the best driver ahead of me. I have praised Him in a storm before, and I will praise Him in the storm now. 

"Trust in the Lord with all of your Heart and do not depend on your own understanding." (Proverbs 3:5-6).